Haiku Society of America Rengay Award
in Honor of Garry Gay
Judges Commentary for 2020
Judged by
Garry Gay and Renee Owen
We’re delighted to announce the results of HSA’s first rengay contest, named in honor of the founder of the rengay form — Garry Gay. Co-judging this contest together has been both a joy and a creative challenge, a process of working to meld our unique styles and preferences. Combining our tastes and working as a team to detail the specifics we each favor has led to what we hope you’ll agree are stellar rengay winners.
We developed the following list of important ingredients we look for in an exemplary rengay and used it to inform our selections.
Adherence to Form – 2-person rengay (3/2/3/3/2/3) and 3-person rengay (3/2/3/2/3/2).
Compelling Themes – at least one discernable primary theme with a possible bonus for a secondary theme.
Universality of Meaning – why the poem matters and what it speaks to.
Effective Haiku – preferably strong haiku that carry enough weight to stand on their own.
Linking & Shifting – linking creates a pleasing flow, with 2-line stanzas linking well with the lines directly above and below, while the shift adds a new dimension.
Interesting Title – especially compelling if it doesn’t echo a line from the first few stanzas.
Exceptional Writing Style – incorporates poetic techniques, fresh imagery and word choices, a variety of sensory details, varied line/stanza structure, noteworthy sounds (like alliteration, consonance, etc.), avoids clichés and contains no spelling or grammatical errors.
Sense of Mystery or Something Left Unsaid—to engage and stimulate the reader.
Satisfactory Ending – a sense of completion and a possible link between the final and first stanza.
Multiple Rereadings – the poem continues to deepen and hold our interest.
We hope you find these winning rengay as enjoyable as we did, and have fun seeing how many of the above ingredients you can taste in these winning recipes.
2020 First Place
Left Behind
as if
she were still here
mourning dovesthe unplanted garden sprouts
volunteer sunflowersher handwriting
on the sugar canister
first hummingbirdswhat she would have wanted
dividing up
the bearded irisesbequeathed
her African Grey, her voicedandelion seeds
the weight
of her ashesby Lew Watts and Tanya McDonald
2020 Second Place
Spaces Between
woods’ edge—
birdsong
without borderssaltspray roses by the beach
wind tousles her hairremnants of a wall
mice nesting now
in crannies of thendark side of the moon
light-drawn mothsanimal shapes
formed by clouds . . .
or the spaces betweenspider’s web in the dew
drop within drop withinby Jennifer Burd, Michele Root-Bernstein, and Laszlo Slomovits
Link 1 - JB, 2 - LS, 3 - MRB, 4 - JB, 5 - LS, 6 - MRB
2020 Third Place
Translating Twilight
almost spring
a shine to the redwing’s
ready whistlea scent of stillness
day moon waningtranslating twilight
into song
sunset-chested robinwayside teasels
the scrape of dawn on darkclearing sky . . .
the salt
of stars on our tonguesechoes off the wind chimes
sunriseby Jennifer Burd, Michele Root-Bernstein, and Laszlo Slomovits
Link 1 - MRB, 2 - JB, 3 - LS, 4 - MRB, 5 - JB, 6 - LS
2020 Honorable Mentions (unranked)
Scorched Earth
first breath
the new day explodes
in smoke and fire
scorched earth
as black as coal
water bombers
where once there was
only birdsong
cresting the hill
the road ahead
wobbling with heatsuddenly darkness
descends over the townthe hidden sun
filling billows of cloud
with a lurid goldby Ron C. Moss and Simon Hanson
Honorable Mentions (unranked)
Shifting Shale
bush walk
shadows of palm fronds
lace the path . . .the fleeting brush
of your hand against minea shaft of light
on echidna quills . . .
rustle of leavescrozzled trees
the morning flecked
with birdsongbeneath our rippled soles
the scent of damp earth risingbedrock
and the shifting shale
within our lives
by Beverley George and David Terelinck
Honorable Mentions (unranked)
Still the Daylilies
the color yellow
featured on Sesame Street
forsythiafresh thistle seed
in the finch feederforget-me-nots
line the path
to the fire lookoutall the way to the horizon
and then some
Indian paintbrushdandelion clocks
fill the field with white lightall her people gone
still the daylilies
at her graveby Angela Terry and Julie Warther
Honorable Mentions (unranked)
Sunday Saunter
Armstrong Woods
our path to the old grove begins
with morning gloriesa stream swirls ‘round rocks
on its way to the seasalmon ladder
we all need a little help
to get back homeraiding raccoons
a slamming screen door
ends the pillagelong-shadowed forest
dusk scatters the remains of dayancient memories
coming and going
a cricket’s soft chirpby John Thompson and Michael Sheffield